Amsterdam

(Trying on some wooden shoes in a gift shop.)

So it's a Wednesday, I got the day off from work and what do I do? I go to Starbucks and fulfill the ultimate cliche. Sip a latte and blog. For good reason though, I have 3 more weekend trips to talk about this one being Amsterdam with Malta and Spain following. Our Internet still feels like dial-up back home if you're lucky enough to connect, making photo uploads a nightmare.

(At the station in Brussels)

A few weeks ago Jordan and I ventured over to a crazy little city named Amsterdam, maybe you've heard of it. Evidently you can do pretty much whatever you want there, it's supposed to be wild. The trip there is an adventure in itself I don't know if you've ever taken it, first, I took a train through the seven levels of the Candy Cane Forest... Then, I went past the twirly, swirly gumdrops... And after that, I went through the Chunnel. Once out I was in place called Brussels, really there wasn't much to do there besides eat waffles, which we did. It was still early, so nothing seemed to be open so we just walked around the empty streets long enough to say we've been to Belgium before trying to figure out how to board our next train to Holland.

(Real Fresh Dutch Tulips)

Amsterdam is probably the craziest city in the world you're free to do pretty much whatever, at the same time though everything is regulated so if you were to partake in any adult or otherwise illegal activities elsewhere this may be the safest place to do it. You could basically go up to an officer and say "excuse me do you know where I may find the closest weed shop?" and the officer would happily point you down the block. There are shops for drugs and adult toys mixed with restaurants and gift shops, not to mention legal prostitution. I saw so much stuff over the course of the weekend I don't even know where to begin.

(Canal Tour Boat)

The first thing we did in Amsterdam was find our Hostel the Hans Brinker,which someone best described as "a mix between the movie Hostel and Animal House." The place was packed because there was this large group of British Law students staying there on a weekend holiday party. They were loud, because for some reason their favorite drunk activity is to sing songs, which quickly turned the bar downstairs into a giant dude fest. Jordan and I had to bounce and escape this, we had the city to explore.

(City Plaza at night)

That Friday night I saw one thing I've always wanted to see. So many times have I heard the screeching of tires only to rip my head around and see a near accident that somehow never came to be. Not this time. Here I was standing on a corner slightly lost trying to figure out which direction I need to head when I see a biker heading towards the intersection at a fairly good pace. Then I look down the road to the left to see a car heading towards the intersection as well. I froze like a kid at the bottom of the stairs on Christmas morning when he sees all the presents under the tree. I couldn't say anything although I think I got out an "uhhhhh....." Seconds later screeccccchhhhh......wham! The car meets the biker right in the middle of the intersection, it couldn't me timed any more perfect. The biker goes flying off with the bike still between his legs the car stops immediately. The driver then pops out of the car and yells "you alright?" and the biker responds with, "Cash out of pocket!" Apparently this wasn't his first time. I tuck back into the shadows hoping a fight or something breaks out but really all they did was argue about the value of the bike which was now mangled. After coming to an agreement the driver drives off and I watch to my enjoyment as the biker tries to stomp on his bike to bend it back into drivable shape. I don't know how he was unharmed, I'd say he might be the 2nd luckiest guy in the world at that moment, me being the first since I got to witness the whole event. The rest of the night we just tagged along with all the British kids on a pub crawl before hitting the sack from pure exhaustion.

(On the canal tour at night)

The next day we walked around a lot more, we walked everywhere, we didn't even want to attempt to try to figure out the train system. We tried to go to the Anne Frank museum but the line was over two blocks long so we skipped it. We did however take a canal tour which was surprisingly amazing, the canals are everywhere in the city so you get to see a lot and the tour boats are fully enclosed and really cool. The drivers are amazing they steer those things better than most people can drive though the narrow tunnels and traffic.

(Canal Tour)

After the tour I witnessed the 2nd spectacle a one armed no legged guy on a skateboard. I feel bad because the guy was severely handicapped but let me just try to explain what I witnessed. First off the guy torso+arm on wheels was booking down the street you could here him from a distance "clack, clack, clack, clack" giving you a nervous feeling as it got louder and louder. I began to check my periphs searching for a skateboarder but couldn't see one in the crowd which made me even more curious about where the sound was coming from. All the sudden I look down and over to the right and see him. He's pulling himself along the path with his right arm and waist placed on the middle of the board. His pace is fast, if he has legs he'd be sprinting. Perhaps the best part and the only reason this was humorous was that he was wearing a long sleeve shirt, with the left arm tied off at his knub. Because of this and his awesome pace the excess sleeve spun around above his head as he tried to keep balance like he was rallying at a football game. I didn't laugh as it took me a while to register what had just happened but now that little skateboarding torso will always be in the back of my mind to be pulled out whenever I need something to smile about.

(This church happened to be right across the narrow canal from the red light district)

We also visited the Infamous Red Light District that night. Not to make any purchases but to see if the stories were true. They are. Scantly clad women adorn the windows throughout the streets and alleyways. You can find pretty much whatever you're into. The women come for all over the world to work here. Short, Tall, skinny, fat, dark, light, beautiful, ugly, real, plastic, and every combination in between. They even had chick-dudes or "its" You couldn't really tell what they were bring to the table and you didn't want to find out so you quickly look away. But these "its" had a bone structure even Arnold Schwarzenegger would be jealous of. It turns out the British are the prostitutes best customers a part of the culture I'm happy I did not take a part of.

(Look closely at the people in the boat, click the photo if you need a better view.

(Couldn't believe me eyes)

You may be sitting here asking yourself questions such as, "who are these black faced people?" , "is this racist?" "What is going on here?" These are few of the many questions running though my head on that lovely Sunday afternoon in Amsterdam. Somehow Jordan and I managed to book our trip to London the same day Sinterklaas arrives to Amsterdam from Spain. Yes I said Spain, not the North Pole like we are led to believe.

(Sinterklaas!!!)

Anyways the black faced character you see is Zwarte Piet (Black Pete), evidently Black Pete is the equivalent of our Elf. Many different stories are passed around one being the Black Pete was a Slave from Ethiopia and that Sinterklaas saved him and brought him to Spain. In return Black Pete became a slav...er.... volunteer worker for Sinterklaas. Other stories say he's from Spain and Turkey but I don't see the resemblance. The Dutch children used to believe that if they were bad Black Pete would come steal them, throw them in his bag, and take them to Spain. I guess Spain must be the most terrible place in the world to the Dutch although it probably has to do with them being in a Catholic war with them a long time ago. Black Pete is depicted as being dumb with googly eyes and nappy hair. All the townspeople participating in the parade wear black makeup on their faces, black curly wigs, and bright red lipstick as well as old Renaissance dress. The town seems to be ok with it. I really don't know what to think about it. The underlying stereotypes surrounding Black Pete are obviously racist even though the Dutch deny seeing it like that. The Dutch used to be Notorious slave traders using their famous Dutch ships that owned the seas so the racism was obviously there at one point. But if they don't see it like that anymore is it still alright? I could just see how children could have their mind shaped by this tradition. I guess if the same thing were to happen with let's say Jewish people and some country paraded people dressed with big noses and stealing money, you know it would never last. I guess my problem is not with the black face paint but with all the other negative stereotypes involved. I'll try to get a video posted on this post next time I find myself a decent Wifi connection.

Ill end with someone humorous. The guy below was spotted rollerskating with his head down, much like it is in the picture, while Jordan and I were sitting in a park. He seemed to be going in circles. I guess this is what happens were you spent too much time in Amsterdam.

(This guy was roller skating and a racing top and a thong at 11AM on a SUNDAY)